ad-alta asked: hi i really want dreads but all my friends don't like the idea but i remind myself to do what i want to but i feel like i'll be rejected by everyone ugh what is your opinion

Honestly, based on the way you asked this question (& that you asked it), I feel like you need to give this a lot more thought.

Dreads are a long-term commitment. They are going to take years to form, months to even look presentable in the way you might expect. & on top of that, there’s a very good chance they are going to radically change people’s perception of you (& even your own perception of yourself!). You might have people treat you differently, even in ways that hurt your feelings or make you self-conscious. Whether it is fair or not, this is a very real possibility.

If you are secure in who you are & what you want & how you look/will look, then do it! Dreads are wonderful & growing them can be a an incredible journey in patience & self-evolution.

But if the opinions of your friends weigh that heavily on you, maybe you aren’t ready yet. I don’t mean to put you down or discourage you in any way. But sometimes, the first year can have rough patches. Everyone goes through little panic attacks, thinking they “don’t look right” or have “too much loose hair” or this, that, the other thing.

If you have people in your life that are very close to you, people who’s opinions matter to you (we’re talking family, close friends, a boy/girl -friend), it can be much more difficult without their support (or even worse, with their outright disdain). You don’t want to start your journey only to have a negative experience that leaves you in tears shaving your head a month later. That’s no fun at all, & might sour your taste for something you may have loved!

So consider carefully:

— Do they just not think it’s a good idea, or will they abuse you for this choice? (if it’s the latter, I would also consider whether they are actually decent people you should be wasting time with.)

— If it’s the first, have you tried educating them about dreadlocks to dispel negative stereotypes they may be caught up on? (Note that his doesn’t always work, but it always worth a try. Some people just will not believe otherwise until they witness it themselves. Like, “See mum? I’m washing my hair.”)

— Are you mentally & emotionally prepared to do something YOU want, even if it might be met with disapproval from others? Can your self-esteem handle that?

If you are confident in yourself, & you want dreads, then do it & fuck everyone else. Just make sure that’s really how you feel!

If you aren’t ready for that yet, just hold off a bit longer. It’s never too late to start your journey, so you have plenty of time to prepare & love yourself ♥♥

You may also want to check this post, in which I discuss reactions I’ve had over the years (luckily for me, they’ve mostly been pleasant- even though my family & my boyfriend despised my dreadlocks at first!).